Five Hundy by Midnight 156: Visiting Planet Ho

Las Vegas podcast #156 includes:

  • Colbert Report opener
  • Hooters’ days may be numbered
  • Our Planet Hollywood room theme: a real cliffhanger
  • Thoughts on the P-Ho casino, bars and restaurants
  • Slot report: Wizard of Oz, Sopranos, Dukes of Hazard and Press Your Luck
  • A reason to visit Monte Carlo
  • Listener calls about Love, Sigma Derby, Mandalay Bay, Luxor, Pinball Hall of Fame, Palazzo, finding female companionship, Circus Circus Steakhouse and more
  • Spotlight on nightclub shakedowns
  • Call us at (702) 866-9494

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Direct download of the podcast: Five Hundy By Midnight 3/10/08 (78:14 min, 71.8 MB) or subscribe.


25 thoughts on “Five Hundy by Midnight 156: Visiting Planet Ho

  1. I was trying to find the pictures from your last trip over at the Flickr web site. I guess they aren’t up yet. It was funny I just started searching for “Tim and Michele” and was completely blown away by how many “Tim and Michele” couples there are that post pictures.

    If you guys ever decide to post pictures of yourselves you should have a contest with 4 or 5 choices of real life Tim and Michele couples and let the listeners decide who the “real” Tim and Michele” are.


  2. I played the Dukes of Hazzard slots in the Monte Carlo back in November. Another reason to visit there?!?!?!?

  3. After hearing Hunter’s call-in about Palazzo being slow during his walk through I can only wonder how cheap rooms will be next year when the newer properties like Encore and Echelon open.

  4. Working as a valet at a location on the Strip I park working girl’s cars quite often. They do pay us to be cool about it. We keep their Mercedes’ and Lexus’ right up front. (How do you think they afford these cars?)
    I was talking with a girl the other night and she charges $400 just to show up.
    Another girl was in the building maybe 40 minutes. She said to me “Who else can make a grand that quickly?”

    I used to spend a lot of time at a bar inside Rio. After just a few minutes you can tell who is working. In fact I remember several times sipping cocktails with a particular girl on many occasions. (She knew I was friends with the bartenders so she knew I knew and it was all good)

    I have been involved with porn slapper companies and can tell you everything stated earlier about how they operate is accurate.

  5. Better than your home town is Montreal. Read Reputable agencies charge 180$ per hour US. Girls vary from French-Canadiens to Easter Europeans. Most stay the full time plus allow MSOG. (Canadian hockey term eh = Multiple Shots On Goal)

  6. Prostitution in Las Vegas. There should be a book. Here are the facts. Las Vegas is the most expensive place in the world to get laid. (Maybe some religious center like Islamabad is more expensive, but I doubt it) Blame American puritanical value and the attitudes of locals. There a significant number of people who are shocked that anyone lives here. They assume that every man who say he is from Las Vegas is a dealer and every woman from Las Vegas is a prostitute. Until about 25 years ago, the gaming industry had enough clout in elections so that the politicians were elected that turned a blind eye to working girls. The casinos were happy. The population grew large enough that the resorts could not elect minions without paying attention to local opinions. Hence the crackdown on prostitution that started with Sheriff John Moran and continues until today. That coincided with the corporate casino culture, which preferred not to deal with the issue. Prominent casino owners promoted family values while keeping the best stable of girls in the clubhouse of their private golf course.

    First piece of advice, save you money and pay for it a home.

    Second piece of advice is that everything posted here so far is poor advice.

    Casino bar girls are expensive and you never know what you will get when you get to the room. They will start their quote at at least $500. The price can be negotiated lower This is good for one shot, and the girl will do everything to get out a soon as possible Fifteen minutes would be long session. The warnings about trick rolls are worth heeding. Warnings about diseases are overblown.

    The ‘porn slappers’ are generating business for the outcall services who send independent contractors. The cards and brochures feature models, not the actual girls. The photos are shameless, showing magazine centerfolds and pron starts. The girl they sent to you will range from average looking to very attractive, but you will not get a model. They charge an upfront fee of $100-150 (the services fee) for the girl to ‘dance’. The girls start at a $1000 ‘tip’ for additional services. As with the casino bar girls, they will take less. You can be sure that no matter what the price paid, they will do everything possible to get out as soon as possible. There is less chance of a trick roll.

    Legal brothels are somewhat better option, if you have a car. Should you ask for a ‘free’ limo ride, you will pay more for your contracted services as the drivers commission, and you will be pressured to offer the driver for a tip in the $100 range. The two disadvantages are the price and clinical nature of the service. A ‘madam’ from one the Pahrump area brothels commented on Eliot Spitzer’s $4300 dalliance that cost him his governorship. He was cheap they said, since a straight lay starts at $1000 and $20,000 buys overnight. In actuality, prices start at $100 and seem to average about $250. There is a far better relationship between the price paid and value received.

    The best choice for a visitor with limited time to hire a woman in Las Vegas is to hire an independent. There are two web site that offer reviews and message boards:


    Read, visit web sites, and contact the providers you have some interest in seeing. The key is to avoid agencies, where you find the same problems as with the porn slappers. Prices range from $400-$750 per hour, unless you want a ‘BBW’ (fat) woman, who will expect $250-350 per hour. Since doing business like this requires some level of maturity, expect to find ladies in their early 30’s to late 40’s. A few will be even older and very few will be under 30.

    There are other options that local or long term visitors can take advantage. They require time and mobility.

    The best advice is to spend your money in your home town, where you can get a pro for 25% to 50%, who is just as attractive, who is younger, and will offer better service.

  7. Ok, here’s what I know about the pro’s in Vegas. Not that I’ve partaken in that type of entertainment or anything but,…………

    The best looking working girls in town hang out at the bars and lounges at Bellagio, Wynn, and Paris. Seriously, some of those girls look like Playboy models. If you get to talking to them, they’ll quote you a rate of about $1000 per hour. I’ve seen less attractive ones at Flamingo, Luxor, Stratosphere, and O’Shea’s. Their rates are more in the range of $400-$500. I understand that you can usually bargain your way down to paying about half of the original quote.

    Buyer beware, it’s not unheard of to be the victim of a “trick-roll”. You go up to your hotel room and the lady pulls a gun on you and takes all your money. It’s not like your going to run to the cops or security, and say that some ho just robbed you instead of giving you what you paid for.

    It’s also not unheard of for some of these girls to be undercover LV Metro looking to bust Johns.

    I’d say your safer with one of the girls being advertised by the porn-slappers, in general they tend to just be strippers who might do more for the right amount of cash. They typically won’t make a deal for sex over the phone, but once they get into your room and they don’t think your a cop, they will negotiate with you.

    In the old days (70’s and 80’s) the pro’s usually stuck to working one hotel where they usually paid off the bartenders and security guards to let them operate. They’d generally be left alone as long as there weren’t any major complaints.

  8. I was hoping someone could refresh my memory of the place at the Bellagio that you can get a good view of the fountains at the end of lunch time, and sit on the outside patio…its seems to have escaped my memory.

  9. If its the store I think it is ( selling old casino chips etc ) its long gone unfortunatly. Was owned by the same people who used to have a similar shop which used to be in the Tropicana. Had some interesting stuff in it.

  10. Not sure if it is still there but there used to be a store that sold old school vegas stuff at Neonopolis.

  11. Glad to see Planet Hollywood get some love… Thanks guys. My best trip ever to Vegas was a reunion with some old college friends. The place was still Aladdin then, but the good times that week in ‘05 guaranteed a lifetime soft spot for the property.

    Now that it’s P-Ho it’s no longer embarrassing* to tell people my favorite place on The Strip is the one across the street from Bellagio. Long live the Ho!

    *Of course, when they trot out Sly Stallone, Bruce Willis or another has-been as their idea of cool, hip and Hollywood, it’s embarrassing all over again.

  12. Seems like Michele was excited that the headboard was padded… not quite sure what to make of that.

    “Frankenweenie” is a short film by Tim Burton that was included on the special edition of the “Nightmare Before Christmas” DVD. Kudos to Michele for mentioning it, although in keeping with the theme of this podcast, “Frankenhooker” (yes it’s a real movie) might have been a more appropriate choice.

  13. I thought Michele sounded legitmately NERVOUS going into the Planet Ho room. I think she was worried it was going to be wall to wall clowns.

  14. Wow, 47 seconds of walking down the hall at Planet Ho!!! Now that’s quality podcastnicity.

    Michelle’s weak effort “sweet” when she realized the room was Cliffhanger themed was hilarious. Her follow-up “describe the view” said it all about her love of the cinemagraphic classic that was Cliffhanger.

    Michelle, next time, just go with, “what the fuck?” 🙂

  15. Wait, there was a Cliffhanger-themed room without one picture of Janine Turner, whose movie career began and ended with that movie?

    Let that be a lesson to all aspiring actresses. If you’re making the jump from TV to movies, you’ve gotta give up the goods the first time out or no one’s gonna hire you again.

  16. Glad to see the podcast up ( if a little late ) was worried you were suffering from the post Vegas depression syndrome.

    Ahhh Cliffhanger the film. For a moment there thought you was in a ‘The Price is Right’ themed room.

    You missed a treat with the Earl of Sandwich.

    Couple of things which were very much noticeable from the last vegas trip ( being a year between ) was firstly just how far the porn slappers had moved on down the road and secondly how much keener the cocktail waitresses were in plying out the drinks. Previously we could sit for a good 30 minutes before getting sight of a waitress. This trip they seemed to be everywhere ( particularly Planet Ho ) and hung around a little after an initial ‘no thanks’ ( not that we made a habit of turning them down, that would just be bad ) in case of a change of mind.

    Not sure if you have reviewed this yet or not but during the trip managed to pick up an audio book copy of When the Mob Ran Vegas ( unabridged ). Amusing commentary and interesting stories. Highly recommended. Makes the car drive to work after the holiday that much more bearable!

  17. The caller who had tons of questions about hookers should check out This Ain’t iowa podcast. The did a couple shows last month interviewing women who work in Pahrump and they answered the questions in a very business like way.

    They going to do another show soon when their sound engineer ( who lives in Australia ) comes to visit Las Vegas soon.

    I wasn’t sure the caller was legit or just pulling your leg but in case he’s serious he should check TAI podcast ( they’re always talking about strippers and hookers ).


  18. So it only took 156 shows for the question of acquiring hookers to come up.

    As many of us can attest to, they shouldn’t be too hard to spot in Vegas and many are pretty aggressive in nature. One of their popular hang outs seems to be around the escalators by the Former Barbary Coast and in front of Bally’s. They also seem to congregate in the more popular bars around the Strip. I couldn’t really say what kind of price range one is talking about here, though.

    I do know that at the last bachelor party I went to, one of the fellas got a “menu” to the bunny ranch; unless one was Eliot Spitzer, however, I would tell anyone to avoid spending that kind of money.

  19. Nightclub shakedown.

    I’m returning to Vegas again in April for a yearly convention. This year there’s a BIG difference… I can get a room anywhere in Vegas for 1/2 the price of what I’ve paid in the last 7 years. Is Vegas hurting? Absolutely. Why? There’s a lot of nice places in the world to spend my money, who needs the crap that happened at the Luxor LAX club. I still love my Vegas, but my Vegas is showing less.


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