Five Hundy by Midnight 279: Webster’s Defines “Hacky” As…

Las Vegas podcast #279 includes:

  • One Night in Vegas opener
  • Harrah’s cancels IPO, changes name to Caesars Entertainment Corp.
  • Venetian and Palazzo tighten room comps
  • Parabounce, not Pair-a-Bounce
  • Planet Hollywood gets a new nightclub and the Pussycat Dolls
  • We’re missing the shoe parade
  • Flamingo closes Steakhouse46
  • Vegas Club and Plaza have some marquee fun
  • Firefly cuts its hours
  • Listener calls about Tropicana renovations (and those interesting lights), Aria service and foot traffic, video poker paytables, Cosmopolitan, Sinatra, lemonade at Caesars, Flamingo table games, Lion’s Share, tiger-based magic mishaps, the demise of the Donny and Marie wrap, Thanksgiving buffets, Golden Gate, Plaza, blackjack dealer stalking, XS and more
  • Video poker resources: VPFree2, Wizard of Odds, The Ultimate Video Poker Pocket Book and app
  • Call us at (702) 866-9494

Play Las Vegas Podcast
Direct download of the podcast: Five Hundy By Midnight 11/28/10 (60:16 min, 55.3 MB) or subscribe.


57 thoughts on “Five Hundy by Midnight 279: Webster’s Defines “Hacky” As…

  1. Pair-a-bounce will never happen if only because there isn’t an insurance company on this earth that would ever cover the liability for the place.

  2. Pair – a – bounce is alive and well @ Sapphire from what I remember. Haha.

    vpFREE2 is an awesome source. They have a mobile version too, that I check whenever I hit a new casino. If anyone plays video poker it’s a must check. Why not play machines that will pay you better!?

  3. At this moment, I cannot access the Grazi site at the Palazzo. I hope it is tied up updating the offers. 🙂

  4. Regarding the call about the crowded 6-5 Blackjack tables at the Flamingo, I fear the sad truth is that there are more than enough people who don’t know/don’t care about the rip-off that is 6-5 Blackjack to continue to feed the casino’s hungry maw.

    It’s the same scenario that has led to the disappearance of the “good” VP pay tables on the Strip- basically, if the casino can screw you and everyone still bellies up to the table to get screwed, then there is no incentive for the house to reverse course.

    I predict 3-2 Blackjack will be virtually off the Strip in the next 2 years, at which point downtown and local’s casinos will be your only place to find it. At which point, the casinos will start rolling out even worse odds and it will start up all over again.

  5. That pair-a-bounce video cracks me up. No way does it ever happen. But if if did, I might try it out.

  6. The Caesars lemonade kiosk does off warmer offerings during the winter, including many coffee drinks with one’s favorite liquors (Bailey’s, Kahlua, etc.).

    BTW, Burlesque was not as bad as I thought, but not bad (meaning awesomely bad) enough to topple Showgirls.

  7. As of Dec 1 the only offers on the Grazie page for January and now February is the previously cancelled Benvenuto deal.

    Don’t you just love computer programs. ?

  8. So, wait, does Caesar’s Palace have a buffet? In 11 years of going to Vegas, I always assumed it did, just because virtually every major casino on the Strip does have one, but after listening to one of Tim’s comments on this episode, it occurred to me that I’ve actually never heard any reference ever to a buffet at Caesar’s.

    We don’t usually ever make it into Caesar’s, but I can name the buffet at virtually every place else, so it’s shocking to me that I have no idea if there’s one at this one. If they have one, do you never hear about it because it’s just bad?

  9. Cafe Lago at Caesars Palace is the buffet. It has been a few years since we ate there. The quality was good, but selection was smaller than most Strip buffets.

  10. Can you add the pics of the much talked about asshole lights? I also just am miffed at the massive love that the Tropicana is getting, yes it used to be a big shithole, but its still nothing special, im happy when any place buts money back into the property but how the hell is it on half of the best of trippie awards? I know Aria gets hammered on Vegas Tripping, but the place is still very nice and should get a little love. I guess im partial to Aria because they have the best drink service on the strip in my opinion, and any place that I can get a grey goose drink every 15 minutes by playing penny slots I will always love. The rooms are also great, ok im done complaining!

  11. just took a look at the butt lights and i am speechless as much as i imagined what they looked like i never thought that

  12. Is it me or is that bung hole alive?

    Parabounce – dumbest idea ever!!


  13. Good show, Back for Last Week in Vegas , Aria is really starting to grow on me, Good $1 Video Poker.

    Our Problem this trip was Money Management , Won $2400 on Slots @ MGM Grand, $900+ on NFL Bets.

    Lost a lot of it back.

    Earl of Sandwich was Great, Still tons of Douchbags even the homeless have Douchy Cardboard signs.

    Sighted A 6′ CrossDresser playing Black Jack at the Sahara, only in Vegas

    Golden Gate $5 BJ was fun man the Plastic Surgeons have to be making a killing in town ….

  14. Outside of my Tropicana rant I wanted to pass some info and a funny story for anyone that might find it interesting.

    My wife and I saw Garth at the Wynn a couple weeks ago at the “old cheap rate of 150”.
    very interesting show, if I was a hard core Garth fan I think I would be a bit dissapointed in the show as he only plays a few of his songs, he is basically the most expensive cover band on the strip right now as he only replays 1 minute portions of his “influences”. I am neither a country fan or a Garth fan but I think his show was more marketed to people like me than his hard core fan base. And he refered to himself every 10-15 minutes as “BIG MAN”, i think he was making fun of himself, but you can tell the Steve Wynn ego might be rubbing off on him if he didnt have one already. and the new 250 price tag is crazy for what the show offers in my opinion.

    Another funny thing, we were comped at NY NY, I had never spent more than 30 minutes in the place before we got the offer, but we might avoid it from now on as I was “propositioned” at like 10pm playing Goldfish 2 haha, might have been the funniest introduction line of my life, 2 working girls walked up to me and said “for 300 you can have us both for the night and do what you like” after standing there in shock and laughing my ass off I passed and thought to myself that the economy really must have been hitting vegas when 300 bucks gets you 2 ladies for a whole night. Garth might have to include a back rub into his ticket offer!

  15. $300 for two. Were they attractive? At 10 PM even. I had a similar offer from one at 6:30 in the morning but 10 pm seems a little early for discounting.

    Garth Brooks should throw in an autographed hat for that price.


  16. I would also like to add the Monorail went down and we had to take a Cab from The Hilton , I was pissed

    The MGM Players Club site has been down , Hoping for some offers in the new yr.

    & will be staying at NY NY A few Days Next Trip !

  17. To the radio show host; (can’t remember your name)

    If I’m not mistaken, McDonalds has a ‘bubble’ style logo as well. It is indeed disappointing that you are so uneducated and naive as to judge the potential for success by a logo style and reference to a scholar’s definition.

    Fortunately for us, President Clinton, Forbes, Sports Illustrated, The New York Times, Popular Mechanics, MTV, CBS, ABC, CNN, NBC’s ‘Today’ show and the 2002 Olympic Committee don’t share your view.

    But there is a place for your type of negative reporting; Right next to Jerry Springer.

    P.T. Barnum said, “No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people.” You fit right in.

    To the bloggers that question the insurance issue, it’s a done deal as we have already given rides to over a million people without a single injury. See you in Las Vegas.

  18. “Can’t remember your name” Ooooo Ice Burn…

    I still think the Parabounce site looks totally rad. Cutting edge stuff circa 1992.

  19. Actually, it was noted misanthrope and raging anti-Semite H.L. Mencken who said that. It was published in “A Mencken Chrestomathy: His Own Selection of His Choicest Writing”

    The phrase you’re most likely thinking of is, “There is a sucker born every minute.” And there are doubts as to whether or not Barnum said that, too.

    So you can’t remember the host’s name, and you can’t even properly research one of the most famous quotes in American history, and you’re calling Tim “uneducated?”

    Regardless of who said either quote, if you’re using them as a business model, well, good luck to you, sir.

  20. Steve:

    Where to begin? Let’s start with assertions in the comment you posted:

    1. The McDonald’s logo uses a very angular, somewhat blocky font. It’s not even close to having a bubble style. Granted, the Golden Arches “M” is more rounded, but still not really a bubble style. Regardless, our comments about the font in your logo weren’t about bubble-style fonts. They were specifically about Comic Sans, which Time magazine defined as, “perhaps the worst font of all time.” A quick Google search for “Comic Sans” will provide more than enough reasons why using the font in your logo reflects poorly, but I think this photo sums it up nicely.
    2. The list of people who have used or provided media coverage of Parabounce is impressive. However, there’s a huge difference between having short-term success at events like the Olympics and being a successful, long-term draw in Las Vegas. Bouncy castles are super popular at carnivals and parties across the land, but try setting up Bouncy Castle Land in Las Vegas and see how long it stays in business.
    3. Negative reporting? Perhaps. We provide commentary on Las Vegas touristy stuff, and when something seems like bullshit, we’re happy to point it out. If later on, however, we’re proven wrong, we’ll also fully admit it. If Parabounce actually opens in Las Vegas, I guarantee we’ll discuss it on the show and admit we were wrong. If it stays open more than a year, I’ll proclaim my previous comments about Parabounce to be the falsest comments I’ve made in the show’s history.
    4. Dave already covered the misquoting of P.T. Barnum, so I don’t need to comment further on that.

    Finally, I’d like to further clarify why we’re skeptical about Parabounce’s prospects as a long-term Las Vegas attraction. At least once a year, an entrepreneur announces he has a really cool idea that’s perfect for Sin City. He sets up a website with cool animation and artistic renderings, gets some news coverage and sometimes even lines up land or investors. Few of them ever come to fruition. Need examples? No problem.

    These are just a few of my favorites. There are countless others.

    After paying attention to Las Vegas for many years, identifying projects that are never going to actually happen is pretty easy. Hell, even the few attractions that do open are destined to close just a few months later. Just ask the people behind Cloud 9 Balloon Experience or Dinner in the Sky (although their website promises they’ll be back soon).

    Perhaps Parabounce will be a huge success. I wish you the best of luck with it. But until you celebrate the grand opening and stick around for a while, I’ll remain skeptical.

    Best wishes,

    Uneducated Tim, Las Vegas Podcast Guy

  21. To Steve at Parabounce;
    Hopefully you’ll take note that I took the initiative to call you by your name.

    Since quotations appear to be your forte, how about “any publicity is good publicity…as long as they’re talking about you”. People even posted in the comments that they would try Parabounce! I can safely say that I have not seen one add/mention by anyone in your post, so perhaps getting your name out there via the podcast (yes podcast, not radio) is yet another means of exposing your name to a larger audience. The commentary on the podcast provided me with a good chuckle and actually spiked my curiosity, but after seeing your reaction to the podcast, I don’t feel that your business is the type of establishment I want to patronize.

    Constructive (and hilarious) criticism hurts sometimes, but have you considered that while the “hosts” (that is correct, hosts-plural. Better known as Tim & Michele) may not be potential customers, their listeners might be? When you were presented with an opportunity to receive what could have been considered “complimentary marketing” to a whole new market you obviously know so little about, you promptly had a hissy-fit and shit all over it. I share the sentiments of Mr. Lifton. Good luck to you, sir.

  22. I can’t wait for these imbeciles to bounce right into Vegas…then promptly bounce right the hell out, two months later.

  23. Ah… Las Vegas WET. Memories. Now the area is advertising the Silver State Arena (if I have my geography correct) wrapped around fencing for the (dead?) Fountainbleu.

    I think that’s a “Dead Project/Pipe Dream” hat trick!

    By the way, when it’s rainy here, and the clouds are dense and low like they are now; the dark Fountainbleu looks so creepy as it disappears upward into the fog. So post apocalyptic…

  24. Chris:

    You may be thinking of Wet and Wild. Las Vegas WET was the water slide/indoor ski resort that was supposedly going to be built on LV Blvd., south of Mandalay Bay (although I don’t think they ever secured actual land).

    The Las Vegas WET website is still up. It’s a tad light on details, but they’re still gunning for a 2012 opening. Riiiiiight.

  25. Tim: You are right. Wet and Wild is what I am thinking of.

    See? Who can call you uneducated?! 😉

  26. I stand corrected on the quote. Thank you, Dave. And sorry to ‘spout off.’ It seems that sadly, many family directed ventures fail in Las Vegas, so I understand your skepticism. As for the comic sans font, it was deliberately selected since the Parabounce was originally designed as a way to generate funds for kids’ charities. We had an event in LA with three of the balloons, raised nearly 750K in a single day and gave it all to 4 different charities. Balloons and children go together, so we wanted to keep the logo image somewhat child-like, not Fortune 500. Everyone has the dream as a child to hang on to a helium balloon. We’re just trying to make that possible. As for the $$, we are there with most of it, but finding just the right location is the big problem. Good luck to you. Hope you’ll come out and fly one of the aerostats. And I certainly won’t forget your name in the future.

  27. Steve at Parabounce thanks Dave for the correction and promises he will not forget your name (Tim and Michele) but yet doesn’t mention it. Hmmm..

  28. Mr. Andrews (gee, your last name. isn’t that neat?)

    Dave, Meredith, and Tim have already offered eloquent, well spoken responses. Since I have been traveling today, I am late to the party so I’ll just resort to being snarky.

    For endorsements your are citing, amongst others-
    The 2002 Olympic Committee. I challenge everybody in our community to name the location of said Olympics without the use of Google. And if I am following some other PR on this, your products was part of the closing ceremony; I don’t see mention of it as a commercial (i.e. moneymaking) venture
    MTV, a TV network barely relevant in mainstream society and certainly not reflective of a clientele that you will be able to support your business on in Las Vegas should it get off the ground, so to speak.
    A President who actually said, under oath, to a Grand Jury that “it depends on what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is. Don’t even get me started on “I did not have sexual relations with that woman”.

    Jerry Springer? Really? Did your TV break in 1998?

    “Little did Webster expect that this ballon filled with helium would be able to propel a human being over 100′ in the sky”. The Montgolfier brothers achieved a height of about 2000 meters (6542 feet) in 1783. 23 years before Noah Webster published his first dictionary.

    I see on your personal website that you mention prominently building a helium ballon large enough to lift 1 person in 1997. Congratulations to you, but the US Navy did that in 1921.

    I’m positive if you check your website logs, you will find nice upticks in traffic around the date this show was posted and also today. On behalf of this community, you’re welcome. I’ll refer you to Meredith’s post about publicity.

    This community isn’t your target market. We drinking and gambling internet people. Few, if any, of us would ever pay money for your attraction.

    Do yourself and all of us a favor and move on. There is nothing to see here. I suspect that we will be able to say the same at any site you choose for your venture for the foreseeable future.

  29. I just thought I would suggest some marketing that could help Parabounce to be a success. It might be a good idea to attach a pocket zoo with small animals. The animals could perhaps even fly with within the aerostats. A Ferris Wheel might also help. Rita Rudner might also make for a good spokesperson.

  30. Mark, the 2002 Olympics were in Salt Lake City. The games were infamous because of a couple of scandals: The fixing of the Pairs competition that robbed Jamie Sale and David Pelletier of the gold medal (even if they were co-awarded it after the fact). But the bigger scandal was that a handful of IOC members received bribes in return for voting for SLC.

    In other words, in order to get anywhere at the 2002 Games, you had to pay heavily, which must explain why Steve now has to go on Internet message boards to raise $12 million.

  31. I wonder how many of the “drinking, gambling, internet people” ever had an original idea themselves? And if so, did you do something with it or just slide it down the esophagus of the nickel slots you park your wide butt behind while chain smoking and guzzling cheap booze? If you think you are the backbone of Las Vegas you are very mistaken. Without the thirty million plus tourists we get each year AND their children, our town would simply waste away and wallow in the geriatric soup of drunks, hookers, homeless and addicted gamblers that we locals have allowed it to become. Visitors come here to have fun, not just gamble.

    Our real estate is almost worthless at this point in time. Wonder why? Could it be that some have gained wisdom from this recession and now wish to hang on to their money instead of lining the casinos’ pockets? My hat is off to the balloon guy. He came up with something unique. At least the “drinking, gambling, internet people” will have a safe place to deposit their abused kids while they dwindle away their child’s college fund at the craps table.

    You were honest, Tim. It’s obvious from your post that you admit judging a proposed attraction by the font of a logo. Maybe you are not uneducated but “naïve,” yes. What you should have stated in your pod cast was that you think new family attractions can’t make it in this town due to previous failures of same. But that would be boring. Instead, you judged a book by its cover to create self-serving controversy.

    Any press is good press? BS. Tell that to Lindsay Lohan. The reporting media is reactive, not proactive or creative. News feeds off of what someone ELSE does. Without creative people for proletarian reporters to disparage, guess what, no readers, no listeners, no viewers.

    The reason we have the internet, craps tables and booze is because someone at some point in time created them from nothing. Anyone can criticize, be “snarky” and paste their blithering nonsense on the web. Most people with negative attitudes are simply jealous because they are too damn lazy to make something of themselves and instead, are content to take their last welfare check and blow it on a one-in-a-million chance at the easy way out. It’s no wonder this town is known as the planet’s mecca for wasted lives.

  32. Joe,

    I’m a “drinking, gambling internet person” and I’ve written three books, one of which was a Washington Post bestseller. So now I ask you the question you posed: What have you done?

    And if you and Steve continue to openly show contempt for your potential client base, you’ll be pulling down welfare checks long before any of us.

  33. i have been listening to five hundy by midnight for nearly six years now

    i don’t always agree with the opinions expressed on the show, either by the hosts or the callers (i loved circus circus, and i love steely dan)

    but i have seldom (if ever) heard tim or michele express an uninformed opinion

    if this idea turns into a popular and viable attraction, i’m sure the hosts here will be the first to report it

    this show is all in good fun – and the views presented are personal ones

    i’m surprised that a serious business person would take the time to take issue through comments on a personal weblog such as this – i am also amazed (and somewhat amused) by the vitriol from this joe character – tim and michele aren’t “reporters” – they’re simply people who love las vegas and share their passion with others through what is essentially a volunteer undertaking

    “self-serving controversy?”

    “abused kids?”

    “wasted lives?”

    we see the world, not as it is, but as we are

  34. I, too, am surprised by this outrageous response to a typically harmless Five Hundy story. I think any press is good press until somebody screws it up. Although I no longer drink, the “drinking, gambling, internet people” I find in LV are what make that town fun and what draw reasonable profits for attraction guys like Steve. I mean, I would never have even heard of Parabounce were it not for 5Hundy; not sure now if I even want to go. If it gets built.

  35. Dear Steve,

    A few times a year I’m asked to speak to people in the hospitality industry about social media. I’ll be using your interactions here as the perfect example of how not to interact. So Thank You Very Much!

    To show my appreciation, here’s a free tip; if you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, you probably shouldn’t type it either. Whether that be how you address someone; “To the radio show host; (can’t remember your name)” or speaking without checking your facts; the Barnum quote, or slinging insults; “But there is a place for your type of negative reporting; Right next to Jerry Springer.”

    Instead of engaging in constructive conversation; you have turned what could have been a very good forum to discuss your business into a laughable event. Your actions have forever tainted my opinion of you and this enterprise. If you ever obtain the 12 million dollars necessary to open this attraction, I will never step foot onto the premises and will encourage others to do likewise.

    Merry Christmas!


  36. So let me get this straight-

    “Without the thirty million plus tourists we get each year AND their children, our town would simply waste away and wallow in the geriatric soup of drunks, hookers, homeless and addicted gamblers that we locals have allowed it to become.”

    Yet, as part of this thirty million, we are not the backbone of Las Vegas? We are very much the backbone of Las Vegas. Next April 15, you owe all of us a Thank You when you don’t have to pay State Income Taxes since we thirty million fucking paid them for you. Your state and local tax burden is the second lowest in the nation. You’re Welcome.

    Many of the people who listen to this podcast and are members of this community, including the owners of this site and myself, do not have any children, but fuck off for the suggestion that we would abuse them.

    The attention Ms. Lohan and other celebutards get is a ridiculous waste of society’s resources, in my opinion, but the cold hard fact is that her actions are the cause, not the effect, of the bad publicity so whatever point you are going for there doesn’t apply.

    The “self-serving controversy” was created by Mr. Andrew posting on this board, rather than just e-mailing the site owners. If you go back and listen to this episode, as a whole little time was spent discussing this venture. And until Mr. Andrew’s post I feel safe in saying the majority of listeners, like myself, forgot about the whole damn thing.

    “Anyone can criticize, be “snarky” and paste their blithering nonsense on the web.”

    That’s correct. You just did.

  37. I can hardly wait to get my drunkin’, gambling ass back to spread some of my hard earned money around the economy of las vegas.

    The greatest inventions in the world were doubted by the masses, but the creative minds who invented them didn’t gain success by calling them names…they proved them wrong.

    Success is the best revenge Joe, name calling and cheap insults just make you look weak and unoriginal.

  38. Dear Tom and Michael,

    You ignorant sluts. A tourist attraction that has a website already is already 90% a sure thing already. It’s a guarantee. Almost no site has been built for anything that isn’t already off the ground. And those that didn’t get off the ground just didn’t have a mission statement to live up to. Who are you to say any different?

    I have lived in this town for years and years, so I know how Vegas works. There’s no possible way you know the history of this town, or what could work here. You’re just a tourist, and what does a tourist know about what vacationers would want to do? Only locals have their finger on the pulse of the tourism industry.

    For educational purposes, I’ll let you know how it works. First, come up with a mission statement, then build a website, then watch the revenue pour in.

    I’m reminded of what Howard Hughes once said, “In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.”

    Besides, if Queen has already endorsed Parabounce, by lending their music to the idea, then it has to be legit. And if it’s legit, it’s a sure fire success.

  39. And one more thing… Merry fucking Christmas…Everyone!

    Everyone except porn slappers, condo sales people, Ed Hardy wearing douche bags, 6-5 blackjack, shitty VP pay tables and Steve from Paradouche.

  40. Tim and Michelle if Parabounce does open don’t forget to check your equipment before you bounce. Just saying!

  41. Even though I grew up around water skiing and on a water ski team, I don’t think LV Wet would work, there is just not enough interest in water skiing to make money. There is an indoor snow ski resort in Dubai, I almost think that could work. A ski village themed resort in the vegas could be “cool” I think.

    I am not really liking the new hotels in Vegas, besides Wynn/Encore, with the ultra modern cold feel. Even though some of the theme hotels from the 90’s have bad themes, I think it is the different themes that draw people into the hotels. If they all look basically the same like the newer hotels, what’s the difference. Keep the themes simple, beautiful and classic but unique, i.e. Bellagio, that’s what I like.

  42. Steve From Parabounce,

    FYI Bill Clinton is no longer the President and is therefore no longer “President Clinton”. He retired.

  43. Steve forgot his biggest “shout-out”…one lucky kid at the Allentown Fair, 2001

    Now thats journalism.

    Enough of this love in, let’s get into the facts.

    Parabounce made that logo in or prior to the Year 2000.

    That graphic/animation was made by the LA Design Studio in 2002

    They have a european counterpart, unfortunately named, join2jump
    look it up.

    Coolio rode a Parabounce and loved it….Who are we to doubt Coolio’s judgment?

    Parabounce is a very charitable organization and should be given props for that….

    A Parabounce could technically be rented for podcast-a-palooza

    Steve is a really good actor…and is really really dreamy.

    False statements that take Steve’s side:

    There was only 3 fonts available on Print Shop on Steve’s Apple IIC in 1999, so he picked comic sans and went with it.

    Steve promised to attend Podcast-a-palooza if we rent a parabounce and donate 100 balloons to starving orphans.

    Parabounce was thought of after a drunken evening where someone mentioned that, “getting kids high would be awesome!”

    3 children have been conceived in a modified “flip in the sky” harness…what? do you hate kids?

    Interesting side note:

    I just learned how to type today, inspired by Steve’s comments about being uneducated. Thanks Steve!

  44. “FYI Bill Clinton is no longer the President and is therefore no longer “President Clinton”.”

    Isn’t the custom that former presidents are still referred to as “President X”? I can understand the appeal of piling on, but I think you should have checked your facts on that one.

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