Brunch annoys me. I don’t like the word or the concept. It’s completely unnecessary. Breakfast is just fine on its own. Lunch is a perfectly acceptable meal as well. There’s no need to combine them and call it something else. If you enjoy breakfast food during the normal lunch time, fine. Go somewhere that serves breakfast around the clock. (Mmm… Denny’s.)

Restaurants typically serve brunch as a way to jack up prices on weekends. Anyone visiting a favorite Las Vegas buffet on Saturday or Sunday has likely been smacked with weekend brunch pricing $5 to $20 more than what they would pay during the week. Sure they’ll throw in mimosas or bloody marys, but unless you were planning on getting shit-hammered with your meal anyway, that alone doesn’t make brunch much more appealing than breakfast.

So when we arrived for breakfast at Cosmopolitan’s Wicked Spoon buffet (complete review coming soon on the podcast), I wasn’t thrilled to learn they had replaced breakfast and lunch with brunch seven days a week. Because Cosmo is new, it’s not surprising that they’re making adjustments, but the price bumps are Caesars-like.

December 2010 Hours and Pricing
Breakfast: 7 – 11 a.m. ($15)
Lunch: 11 a.m. – 3:00 p.m. ($19)
Dinner: 5 – 10 p.m. ($27)
Saturday and Sunday Brunch: 7 a.m. – 3 p.m. ($23)

May 2011 Hours and Pricing
Monday through Friday Brunch: 8 a.m. – 2 p.m. ($22)
Sunday through Thursday Dinner: Sun-Thur 5 – 9 p.m. ($35)
Friday and Saturday Dinner: 5 – 10 p.m. ($35)
Saturday and Sunday Brunch: 8 a.m. – 3 p.m. ($36 or $29 w/o booze)

Brunch defenders, I invite you to try to change my mind.

Walking past Caesars Palace in the summer, Las Vegas visitors frequently catch a whiff of a mystery odor resembling that of steamed ass. Much to my dismay, I discovered during last week’s Strip visit that the stench has multiplied. Halfway across the Paris Las Vegas entryway toward the recently opened celebutard magnet known as Sugar Factory, the stink couldn’t be avoided.

Does anyone know the origins of this foul odor? I have only one theory.

We at Five Hundy by Midnight get a little tingly whenever we hear about an event combining two of our loves, Las Vegas and drinking obscene amounts of alcohol. So when we heard about the Las Vegas World Beer Fest, we were intrigued.

Every weekend beginning Oct. 13, 2011, the Beer Fest will take over the parking lot behind Bally’s. Tickets are available from $10 (entry only) with drink coupons for $1.25 each. I’m guessing a beer will run about six coupons. Of course, I’ll be shelling out $163 for the Platinum Package, because Michele and I want matching Las Vegas Beer Fest cowboy hats, glasses and t-shirts.

I’m glad the organizers are featuring only “official beer games.” I hate unofficial beer games. However, I’m wondering if the assurance of “beautiful people” is guaranteed, and whether they’ll be beautiful upon entry or only after I’ve pounded a dozen brews. Also, someone may want to work with the voiceover guy on his pronunciation of “Bellagio” and “Palazzo” and let the video editor know Cosmopolitan isn’t part of CityCenter. But I’m nitpicking.